Facing and Eliminating Drama
How many times have you heard someone say – I don’t want any drama in my life. Drama is a very trendy term right now, and if you or someone you know is single and dating, it’s probably tossed around like please and thank you!
Everyone claims to hate drama but somehow we find ourselves in it way too often. Some of us are drama junkies and thrive on it as it—imagining it provides us with a sense of importance. Some of us create it and then swoop in as the savior to “fix” whatever caused it. Whatever its source, drama can cause un-needed strife and confusion in our everyday lives.
What is drama? Merriam Webster defines drama as, “a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces”. These situations most often lead to a climax and negative outcomes or feelings.
Wow. Does that change your view of drama already?
We all know someone who seems to attract drama. Usually these people don’t really want that in their lives but due to some underlying trauma they have experienced in the past, the drama is like a comfortable place for them. They relive the trauma over and over through drama filled episodes—submerging themselves and everyone surrounding themselves in it over and over again.
Drama in adults can be compared to the terrible twos. Some toddlers haven’t developed their communication skills when dealing with conflict and will typically act out with a temper tantrum. Imagine an adult who is unable to regulate their emotions and handle conflict so they act out with an adult temper tantrum that may include backstabbing, gossiping, and verbal abuse.
Drama exists in the movies for a reason—it’s entertaining. Tuning in on other people’s lives gives us distraction momentarily. Drama in real life, however, is much less attractive. And yet, many people are drawn into real life drama the same as if they were seeing it on TV or in the movies. They are drama magnets, unable to control and eliminate the onset of issues.
Drama is many times caused by distorted thinking, and we have the option—the choice—to engage or disengage that thinking. How do we combat the drama in our lives? Stay away from distorted thoughts and others who indulge in that kind of thinking. That’s a solid start. If you don’t feed the beast, it will go somewhere else to eat.
We can, at times, find ourselves mired in someone else’s drama. When someone is unloading on you, listen. Just listen. They are looking for an ear not your opinion. Remember, this is this person’s issue—not yours. Being silent will keep you from engaging in the situation. Don’t talk – don’t discuss – don’t look for a solution. Let the energy die down before engaging in any conversation.
At Unlock Limits Coaching we strive for the complete elimination of drama. We can help you to identify and eliminate drama in the workplace so your entire staff can reach their full potential. If you’re interested in individual or small group coaching sessions for you or your team, please reach out to us and we’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have.